Abusive persons: Reasons to Run
Abusive personalities and relationships
The final list of characteristics of abusive personalities. If these are present, you must get out of this relationship. It will not get better. Remember O.J. Simpson?
Sudden Mood Changes
What should be a simple change in life becomes an explosive moment. There were golfing plans but it is lightening. Suddenly, golf clubs fly across the yard. There is no more Half and Half for cereal so milk will have to do. The mild carton gets thrown and explodes all over the kitchen. Of course, you will be blamed for the change in mood or the outburst.
Past Battering
He or she may admit to having been violent in the past but only when provoked. This is a big red flag. This doesn't stop because you are more special than the last person. Count on it. It will happen again. If they hit you, they will say that it isn't a big deal. Gifts will appear along with forgiveness---repeatedly. They may even laugh at you for thinking their behavior is out of line. Everyone looses their cool, right? They will accuse you of being old-fashioned, idsloyal or ignorant if you challenge their behaviors. They may even say that you should be grateful that they even put up with you--no one else would.
Threats of Violence
This person may threatened to "break your neck" or "knock some sense into you if you don't do as told." They may also threaten to hurt themselves if you leave. "I just can't be responsible for what I do if you leave me." Later, they will say they were just kidding. These are serious threats of violence.
Mr. Wonderful
When in public or with family, he or she will put their best foot forward. This is to ensure that if you would go to one of them to talk of the abuse--you won't believe it. Surely this is an exaggeration.
These are the 14 traits of an abuser. If most of them are checked off, get out now. You have a zero chance of making this relationship work for the both of you. Get out.
Related articles: Abusive Traits: 14 Reasons to Run and Abuse: 14 Good Reasons to Run
Also, visit this Suite 101 site on abuse.
Read previous articles on Educational Issues.
Copyright article 2006 Barbara Pytel. All Rights Reserved.
