Bullying: What Is It?

May 21, 2006

Bullying takes many forms. It can be physical, emotional, or sexual. It can happen at school or over the internet. What is it technically?

Harassment or bullying is easily misunderstood. Often students think it is harassment when it is not. And, they also think it isn't when it is.

The following are things to look for. It is probably harassment if the action has you feeling one or more of the following:

Embarrassed
Shame
Fear
Anxiety

Shame is a vague concept for students to understand. Shame is when you are being teased or harassed and after a long period of time you begin to believe that you deserve to be treated this way. For example, you get called "fat" and begin to think you are "fat" and deserve to be called "fat." This is dangerous thinking and needs to be turned arounds quickly.

When Is It Harassment?

There is a difference between someone mentioning once that you are having a bad hair day and several students saying that daily for weeks. If an action is repeated then it is probably harassment. If it happens only once, it probably isn't.

Is the student hesitating to go to school because of the actions? Are they asking for a ride instead of boarding the bus? Are the actions beginning to affect academics? Is there worrying about what may happen in school that has nothing to do with teachers or homework?

What are the steps students can take to stop harassment?

Tell them to stop.
Tell a teacher.
Tell the principal.
Tell a parent.
Keep complaining until it stops.

If the student is not assertive enough to accomplish Step 1, a teacher or school counselor may talk to the student with the problem behavior and ask them to stop. However, the student should work on being more assertive in the future. It is sometimes hard to believe, but some students do not realize the damage they are doing and think their words or actions are funny. Some students will tease another to gain popularity with a group without any thought of what it is doing to the one they are teasing.

Schools need to have a harassment policy with some teeth in it. Teachers need to be looking for students that seem to be targets.

Three Clues It Could Be Harassment

If you wouldn't want a story about this on the front page of the local newspaper, it's probably harassment.
If you wouldn't want someone treating your younger brother or sister like this, it's probably harassment.
If you would never behave this way in front of your parents or grandparents, it is probably harassment.

Bullying and School will give ideas on what a school can do to combat harassment.

Bullying and the Home gives parents tips on what they can do at home.