Parenting Help in Initiating Teacher Conferences
Parenting Advice for Conversations that Improve a Child’s Education
Dec 3, 2008
Initiating parent teacher conferences under most circumstances is easy and enjoyable. However, when the parent is worried about an aspect of their child’s education, it can feel awkward and nerve-wracking. With this parenting advice, a parent can feel confident and effective as his or her child’s advocate in the classroom.
Parenting Help, Remember The Teacher’s Position
- Statistically, the teacher is very passionate about what she does, cares about each student, and wants each one to succeed.
- The scrutiny, demands, pressures, obstacles, and challenges is great and the pay is little.
- Teaching is a very personal profession. A lot of her self will be in each lesson.
- Parents don’t often trouble themselves to talk with the teacher if things are going well. A parent that requests a conference with the teacher will most likely put the teacher in a defensive position right off the bat.
Parenting Help, The Parent’s Position
- The parent knows the child better and more intimately than any teacher can.
- The parent is the child’s first and last advocate. It is the parent’s responsibility to speak up and to procure the best resources for the child.
- The parent has a lot invested in this child – time, money, care, worry, love, hopes, and dreams. A parent may have a great sense of urgency.
- The parent is in a place to notice changes in the child much more quickly than the teacher.
Parenting Advice for the Best Approach in Parent Teacher Conferences
Two phrases come to mind: catch more flies with honey, and The squeaky wheel gets the grease. A parent who comes in with guns blazing won’t make hardworking teachers eager to work harder. However, a parent that comes in with a little honey – starting off positive and staying constructive – may make a partner out of a teacher.
Parents should begin by noting things they are pleased with in their child’s education, acknowledge realistically the challenges the teacher faces, and then approach the situation in a problem-solving way. This makes it very easy for the teacher to give that much more. For example, “Thank you for the note you sent home last week. We really appreciate the communication. Bobby has been talking all week about the science lesson you did. I know his math needs work, and we admire the patience you are taking with him. We were also noticing that his reading ability seems to be pretty sophisticated. We were wondering what your perspective is, what we might do at home to help him progress further, and what things we could do in class to keep him engaged in reading?”
A parent who tries this approach will probably get farther than the parent who starts with, “You are not meeting Johnny’s needs. He can read two grade levels above what you give him, and I want to know what you’re going to do about it.” It also does no good for the child if the parent says nothing at all.
While a parent must put the child’s interests first, a teacher must put 23 students' interests first. Parents may want individualized instruction, while a teacher considers what 22 students are getting when one child receives such services. Parents should ask for the world, help problem-solve a solution, and be reasonable in reaching an agreement.
A conference is a good start. It helps to keep the wheel squeaking. A parent should check in and see what can be done to help once a week or so. Anything done for one student will raise the bar for other students, too.
