The term "birth order" has two meanings. It can refer to the actual place in the family, such as only, oldest, middle and youngest child or it can refer to the personality associated with the place in the family.
Exceptions
Exceptions occur because of age differences, day-care situations, maternal stress when the child is around two, adoption, and multiple births.
How Many Are There?
Birth Order personalities consist of only child, first born, second born, third born and fourth born. In large families birth order repeats.
In The Beginning
The concept of birth order comes from psychiatrist Alfred Adler who, early in the last century, suggested that it consisted of oldest, middle and youngest child, was caused by parents and variations could occur because of gender differences. Understanding birth order was advanced with the discovery of the five birth order personalities in 1970.
Birth order personality is created by early childhood experiences.
- The only child must learn to play alone without feeling lonely.
- The first born copes with the loss of attention to the new baby.
- The second born competes with the first born.
- The third born endures teasing from the second born.
- The fourth born feels the impact of being rejected by the third born. The fourth born ignores the fifth child so the birth order cycle repeats.
During these early experiences, children make the decisions that determine their personalities. Once set, usually by age two, birth order personality is fixed for life. Blended families may challenge children but do not change their birth order personalities. The children simply cope using their birth order strategies.
The Value
The value of knowing birth order is to understand personalities. Understanding each other enhances relationships. Marriages improve, parenting becomes more effective, friendships more enduring and cooperation more common. Life gets better at home, workplace and in society.
In the next articles, we will look more closely at each of the personalities.
Related articles: Birth Order and School, The First Born Personality, The Second Born Personality, The Third Born Personality, The Fourth Born Personality, Birth Order in the Classroom, First Born in Classroom, Second Born in Classroom, Third Born in Classroom, Fourth Born in Classroom, Only Child in the Classroom.
Cliff Isaacson
Upper Des Moines Counseling Center, Inc.
1-800-214-0795
Visit Cliff's site for more information, Birth Order Plus
Cliff has authored several books on the topic: The Birth Order Effect: How to Better Understand Yourself and Others, The Birth Order Effect for Couples, How To Love Your Children: Birth Order For Parents, The Birth Order Challenge: Expanding Your Horizons, Look at it This Way: Reframing Life's Experiences, 112 Ways to Say What You Want, and Understanding Yourself Through Birth Order.
Copyright article 2006 Cliff Isaacson. All Rights Reserved.
