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The first born is a daydreamer who needs to connect his or her dreams to class work. The teacher can facilitate this by connecting the lesson to the future.
Nice - But Not ListeningThe first born student gets a faraway look staring into space as teacher teaches. He or she is not listening to what teacher is saying. This does not mean the child is rebellious. He is most likely a nice child who gets along with peers. He goes along with whatever teacher wants him to do. He probably gets his homework done on time. He is easily embarrassed at doing something wrong. But, in the classroom he departs into daydreams. Do Not Embarrass HimHe is not thinking about the substance of the class. Teacher may be tempted to embarrass him by asking him a question that breaks his reverie. He does get embarrassed because he cannot answer it. In fact, he feels guilty as well as ashamed. He does not know what teacher is talking about. He wasn't there. Fantasizing How To ImpressWhat is going on in his mind? He's repeating what he experienced when he became a first born. The problem started when mother brought the tiny stranger home, showered the stranger with affection and ignored first born. To cope, first born ignored what mother was doing by fantasizing about what he could do that would impress mother. He would figure out how to show off to get attention. It didn't work but he kept fantasizing. He continues that behavior in the classroom, fantasizing what he could do to impress others. Punishing Does Not WorkReprimanding him does not change his behavior. He is not choosing to daydream. He is driven by the memories that make him ignore the present to derive hope from the future. Waking the DreamerTeacher cannot make him stop his daydreaming. However, daydreaming can be made useful by enabling him to connect his dreaming to class material. A teacher can do this by telling how classroom material will be useful in the future. Better yet, the teacher can ask the students to give examples of how the material will be useful in the future. The first born can then fantasize in a way that incorporates the material he's learning. The first born pays better attention once he connects a lesson with its possible future applications. In effect, he can indulge his fantasy by studying. It's easier for the teacher to accomplish this rather than trying to force the child to change his or her daydreaming ways. Related articles: Only Child in the Classroom, Birth Order in the Classroom, The Fourth Born Personality, The Third Born Personality, The Second Born Personality, First Born Personality, The Only Child, Birth Order and School, Intro to Birth Order Plus Cliff Isaacson Upper Des Moines Counseling Center, Inc. 1-800-214-0795. Visit Cliff's website for more information, Birth Order Plus Cliff has authored several books on the topic: The Birth Order Effect: How to Better Understand Yourself and Others, The Birth Order Effect for Couples, How To Love Your Children: Birth Order For Parents, The Birth Order Challenge: Expanding Your Horizons, Look at it This Way: Reframing Life's Experiences, 112 Ways to Say What You Want, and Understanding Yourself Through Birth Order. Copyright article 2006 Cliff Isaacson. All Rights Reserved.
The copyright of the article The First Born in the Classroom in Educational Issues is owned by Barbara Pytel. Permission to republish The First Born in the Classroom in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.
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