The fourth born can be the angry student who causes problems in the classroom. This student needs to feel understood. However, few understand the fourth born personality.
A Fourth Can Be Pleasant or Malicious
A fourth born from a harmonious home can be a very pleasant student. However, in the family where the fourth born is subject to injustice from older siblings, the child can be very angry.
In the classroom, this student stomps with anger, does malicious things to others' belongings, insults classmates and is uncooperative. Sometimes there seems to be no way to reach this student.
"Please Understand Me"
The student can actually be quite receptive to being understood. Their common experience is that no one understands them. It's true. In a larger family older children do not come to understand the fourth born because they can overpower him. The fourth born, having despaired of being understood, does not open up to anyone.
The fourth born lives in a private world where her defense is to hide from the world. However, the fourth born tends to open up, sometimes enthusiastically, when someone shows understanding of the fourth born experience.
The First Step
The first step for the teacher is to respond to the expression of anger. Rather than reprimanding the student the teacher can say, "You look like you're angry." Ignoring the anger will not make it go away. Calling attention to anger does make it go away as it makes the child look at her own anger. The anger dissipates as the child disassociates from it. The child may continue to act angry but may barely resist smiling.
Always Thinking "What If"
The fourth born is constantly analyzing by asking self "what if" questions. These questions are at the core of fourth born thinking that requires lots of time. When asked a question the fourth born seems to take an inordinate length of time to answer. A good insightful response by teacher would be, "You're doing a lot of thinking, aren't you?" The child feels understood.
Feels Constant Rejection
The fourth born feels rejected constantly. Teacher suggesting she wants to include the fourth born in an activity gives an emotional boost. The fourth born can feel she belongs.
Magic Words for the Fourth
There are magic words for fourth born to open up. Telling the fourth born to "Forget making yourself hide yourself" sets the student free to relate. This student may even become helpful to the teacher in understanding fourth borns.
The Most Challenging Students
For most teachers, the angry fourth born is the most challenging student. To deal with them more effectively, teachers need to become familiar with their personality. "The Birth Order Effect" is an important resource that explains the fourth born personality. Since there are fourth born classroom teachers, they can help other teachers understand fourth born behavior. Once a teacher understands the basics of fourth born personality, the students themselves can teach the teacher about being fourth born.
Related articles: The Third Born in the Classroom, The Second Born in the Classroom, The First Born in the Classroom, Only Child in the Classroom, Birth Order in the Classroom, The Fourth Born Personality, The Third Born Personality, The Second Born Personality, First Born Personality, The Only Child, Birth Order and School, Intro to Birth Order Plus
Cliff Isaacson
Upper Des Moines Counseling Center, Inc. 1-800-214-0795.
Visit Cliff's website for more information, Birth Order Plus
Cliff has authored several books on the topic: The Birth Order Effect: How to Better Understand Yourself and Others, The Birth Order Effect for Couples, How To Love Your Children: Birth Order For Parents, The Birth Order Challenge: Expanding Your Horizons, Look at it This Way: Reframing Life's Experiences, 112 Ways to Say What You Want, and Understanding Yourself Through Birth Order.
Copyright article 2006 Cliff Isaacson. All Rights Reserved.
