The First Born Personality

Author: Barbara Pytel
Published: Jun 6, 2006

The first born lives in a world of conditional love. Always thinking that love can be lost at any moment the first born interacts cautiously with others.

In The Beginning

The first born starts life as an only child basking in more than enough love. Everything changes when mother brings this tiny stranger home from who-knows-where. When the stranger whimpers, mother tells the first born to wait while she takes care of the baby. The oldest child is stunned at being rejected. He never got set aside like this before.

"Is It Something I Did?

As the oldest child watches mother have entirely too much fun with this stranger he (or she) concludes that he must have done something terribly wrong for mother to reject him. He begins to feel guilty about what he does, thinks and feels, a sense of guilt that carries on throughout life. But, he can never figure out what he did wrong.

Lifelong Implications

The first born lives in fear that he will inadvertently offend someone so that what little love there is will be lost. He is afraid to say what he thinks, wants or feels so "I don't know" becomes a standard answer. What do you think? I don't know. What do you want for supper? I don't know. What would you like to do tonight? I don't know.

First Born Body Language

Body language lets you identify the first born as he keeps nodding his head in agreement. The first born waits to know what you think before venturing an opinion, an opinion that will agree with what you said. The first born will expend great effort to please you if you mention what you want. However, real interaction with the first born is difficult.

First Born Strengths

First borns do have strengths. Having led younger siblings, they tend to be leaders that others will follow. Listening to others makes them into research thinkers that enable them to pursue research tirelessly. Combined with training their being tuned in to others makes them into good counselors, high school and college teachers, pastors, mentors and physicians.

Understanding Others Is a Challenge

Understanding others challenges first borns. Growing up, they did not have to understand younger siblings because they could overpower them. As adults, they still do not understand others. They tend to be continually surprised by others' reactions. Birth order intrigues first borns with its insights into people.

Related articles: First Born in the Classroom, The Only Child, The Second Born Personality, The Third Born Personality, The Fourth Born Personality, Birth Order and School, Intro to Birth Order Plus

Cliff Isaacson

Upper Des Moines Counseling Center, Inc. 1-800-214-0795.

Visit Cliff's website for more information, Birth Order Plus

Cliff has authored several books on the topic: The Birth Order Effect: How to Better Understand Yourself and Others, The Birth Order Effect for Couples, How To Love Your Children: Birth Order For Parents, The Birth Order Challenge: Expanding Your Horizons, Look at it This Way: Reframing Life's Experiences, 112 Ways to Say What You Want, and Understanding Yourself Through Birth Order.

Copyright article 2006 Cliff Isaacson. All Rights Reserved.